Chapter 7: In which the group makes a great escape?

Not 50 feet from where Marta and Tucker sat in the shade, an assailant also sat, curled into a seemingly cuddy ball. He was swaddled in some old Mexican afghans some weary abuelita tossed into the streets to be laundered later in the day . Little did she know that a lone slothsassin was nestled securely in the folds of the burnt orange and brown colored patterns of the afghans.



Marta had begun to doze off on Tucker’s shoulder when a ruckus awoke her from the sinuous streets behind her. She popped up like toast in Gil's old-fashioned toaster; the abrupt noises were reverberating off the walls of the little mud houses. She and Tucker exchanged a glace, but their attention was quickly turned toward the little Mexican grandmother shaking a dreadful two-toed sloth from his suffocating sanctuary.

She cried vehemently in rapid Spanish for the sneak to remove himself from her laundry. Realizing his cover had been blown, the sloth decided the best move was to head straight for Marta and Tucker. Using his incredible Sloth Spy Speed, he leapt from the great wad of ancient yarn and plunged toward the two ladies perched on the little café style table and chairs.

“Run for it Marta!” exclaimed Tucker, “It’s an assassin!”

“But what about Gil and Floaty? We need to warn them!” cried Marta.

Without hesitation, Tucker scooped Marta into her arms and ran for the pawn shop. Flinging open the door, Tucker blazoned that Gil and Floaty needed to book it out of Tetuan. Gil, hearing her proclamation, motioned to Floaty to run out of the shop. He didn’t need Tucker to tell him they were being pursued; that was expected.

Reunited, the group sprinted as fast as they could toward the harbor.

“Finneus said he would have the row boat ready and at the dock near the churro stand by noon! Try and see if you guys can find it, we’ll have to head out a little earlier than planned.” yelled Gil.

“There! The boat is there, I recognize Finneus’ craftsmanship, but I can’t tell if that little man is Finneus or not…” Floaty said.

Nonetheless, they swiftly made their way to the small but beautiful boat. Tucker tossed Marta into the bow of the vessel, then leapt in herself, offering a hand to Gil. Floaty simply glided into the boat, as he had built up so much momentum he was able to take flight {a skill only the best of the best can develop}.



The less qualified assassin had lost track of the group due to having been entangled in one of the afghans the little grandmother threw onto him so she could give him a proper punishment. After extricating himself, he tripped, flew a few yards, and landed face first into a stagnant puddle. Apparently the momentum he gained turned out to be a lot more of a hindrance than a help. While Floaty’s speed had been conducive to his flight into the boat, the slothsassin’s speed caused him quite a bit of trouble.



“You fool!” cried a voice from the bottom of the boat.

Marta looked down to see a small, ugly man, peering through a periscope, aimed in the direction of the assassin. The man jumped to his feet, crawled out of the storage space, and ran for the stern. Whipping out a dagger, he sliced the rope that was securing the row boat to the dock, revved up the special motor, and steered the boat into the open water.

“Are you Finneus?” asked Marta.

“No, he’s not, Marta. He’s an old enemy!” warned Tucker, “Where is Finneus?”

“Ha! Dead! And it looks like we Evils have caught ourselves a bonanza!” giggled Flannigan poisonously, as he pointed the boat onto the vast and deadly sea.

Chapter 6: In which a bittersweet story is unfolded

“Meet me again? I’m quite sorry, but when have we met before now?” asked Marta.

“My dear girl! I used to take care of you when you were a very small child! Don’t you remember me?” asked Tucker, with tears in her eyes.

“Really?? Gil is this true?” asked Marta.

‘You betcha! As a matter of fact, Tucker had a great deal to do with my coming to your town in Kansas.” said Gil.

“Where you always with the Good Tucker?” asked Marta.

“Why yes, ever since I was about your age! Why do you ask?” replied Tucker.

“Then surely my parents must have known you were, right?” asked Marta, with sudden realization.

“You know…they did…well, kind of. It is a very sad story. Did Gil not tell you?” sighed Tucker.

“I thought it would be best for you to tell her Tucker. It’s your history after all, not mine.” said Gil softly, “I’ll leave you two to talk.”

And with that Gil walked into the pawn shop, leaving Marta alone with this peculiar stranger and the young puppy.

“Well, I don’t know how to tell you this. I can’t believe you didn’t already know! Hmm… where to begin…. Ok, well, what do you think of your parents Marta? Did they ever seem strange to you?” began Tucker.

“Ehh, well I guess. Truthfully, I’m trying to forget them! My father and I always fought, and my mother dwells mostly in the bathroom, too sorrowful to show her face.” said Marta.

“Well, your father wasn’t always a jerk, and your mother was once very happy. You see, I am your grandmother Marta.” proclaimed Tucker.

“I thought my mother’s mother died shortly before I was born! You couldn’t be her! Besides, she was Norwegian, you are not.” stated Marta.

“ Au contraire! I am in fact Norwegian, your mother’s mother, and very much alive! Would you like me to tell you everything Marta?” asked Tucker.

Marta didn’t know what to think. Her whole life was turning into a lie! She didn’t know what to think anymore, so she just nodded her head, prompting Tucker to proceed.
And here is the story she told:

When your mother was born, I lived with my husband in Stokke, Norway. Both your grandfather and I had been exposed to Good sloths at an early age, by a cousin of Floaty’s actually. So we were both strong members. We were stationed in Stokke, my home town. Your Grandfather made a living as a traveling minstrel and I sold butter from a little wagon that was pulled by a small mule that I rescued from a life of crime. The mule wore a hat of seashells. Everything was wonderful in those early days! Until that terrible day…. Your grandfather was doing some undercover work out in the country. What he failed to realized was that a Bad sloth was watching him!




The bad sloth came up from behind and attacked him with his Sloggles! If you don’t know, Sloggles enable the wearer to control the mind of their opponent. Eventually, after the victim has been under the spell of the Sloggles long enough. They undergo a personality reverse. Luckily, he was able to escape the spell before too much damage was done. He whipped out his lucky machete, and attempted to cut the Sloggles off his opponent. He succeeded in doing this, but also gouged out the Bad sloth's right eye! In his fury, the Bad sloth vowed he would return to kill him, and corrupt his family. Years passed by, and your mother grew. Our family was wonderful and strong. Your mother was the happiest person I’ve ever met. She was never without a smile. When she met your father, he was the nicest boy the world has ever known. They married young, and you were born. Some nights we even let you sleep in the butter wagon. We were all so happy. Our Good family was growing and I was now proud grandmother. The memory of the Bad sloth had nearly faded…. When, on a stormy day, only weeks after your birth, he returned to wreak his revenge. He killed your grandfather with one fell swoop, and came charging at your mother. With one look, he entranced her with his Sloggles. He did the same thing to your father for safety’s sake. Luckily, I had taken you on a walk when all this had happened. As it turns out, the damage to your parents was irreversible. I raised you until you were about three, while your parents were staying in Mexico City, undergoing serious medical care. When they were declared stable, they insisted that you were to be handed over. Your father had changed into a real brute of a man. Always in a foul mood, with no manners to speak of. Your mother was the saddest sight to behold. She had a constant quiver on her chin, and eyes perpetually full of tears. There was nothing I could do but hand you over. They issued a restraining order against me, so I could never see you again. Then they moved you to America. You hated it. You wanted to come back. You wrote me little notes on the back of sandpaper. But eventually your parents brainwashed my memory out of you. And then I had an idea! I could get Gil to bring you! He was an old friend, very loyal. He knew the predicament, and wanted to help. He searched high and low until he found your town. He hired you at his store to keep you away from your parents. And then he brought you to Mexico! And here you are!



Marta didn’t know what to say. She was so sad, yet so happy to find a relative who loved her! So, she did all she could, which was weep a little into the velour of Tucker’s dress, and smile up at her new-found grandmother.

Chapter 5: In which Marta, Gilbert, and Floaty got to Tetuan and meet the wondrous Tucker

After the arrangements had been made, Marta Gil, and Floaty made their way to Gil’s old car. As Marta stepped into it, she looked about and remembered all the strange objects that Gilbert had packed. It seemed as though none of the items would be of much use.

“Mr. Gilbert, why ever did you bring such useless items?” Marta asked.

“Useless?! USELESS??? These items are of very high value! I brought them in the hopes of selling them for some much needed cash along the journeys. Some of the items however are meant for us to keep. Fortunately, the Tetuan Headquarters doubles as a pawnshop. We can sell some of these goods to impressionable Mexican children who come to shop at the place. The rest we can keep in storage, along with the car” explained Gilbert.

“Oh I see. So what is the lady we’re meeting up with like? Her name is Tucker isn’t it?” asked Marta.

“Yes, her nickname is Tucker. It’s a funny story actually how she got it, but I’ll save it for a rainy day. Her real name is Heatherly Emily Amy Anne Huglesbishop. This of course is a bit of a mouthful, so she just goes by Tucker. She is a delightful gal who is kind to everyone! She is very smart yet a bit touched! She is the life of the party and has saved Goodkind more than few times. You’ll really like her! In fact, you two have a special connection.” said Gil.

“Oh I’m so exited! I can’t wait to meet her. But how are we connected?” asked Marta.

“I’m not sure really, she’ll have to tell you herself.” replied Gil.

“Oh, I nearly forgot! See that red yo-yo there? That is for you. It’s actually not a yo-yo at all, but a Slo-yo. You see, our opponents developed these special attack glasses called Sloggles. So, as a defense, we created Slo-yo’s, to repel the powers of the Sloggles.” declared Gil, rather proudly.

“But what do they do?” inquired Marta.

“Well, Sloggles to a kind of dark magic. Evils can use Sloggles to peer into the minds of the creatures around them. If you don’t counterattack the use of Sloggles, they can eventually begin to control your mind! We lost some Good fighters to Sloggles. You use the Slo-yo like a regular yo-yo,, but it will send out vibrations which will effect the inner workings of the Sloggles. We are trying to come up with ways to get all Good fighters a Slo-yo, but they are hard to come by. You are very lucky to be getting one.” noted Gil.

“Oh wow! That’s so cool! I hope I’ll never have to use it!” said Marta.

The two traveled onwards, going farther and farther south. During this time Marta began to comprehend a very new concept to her. She felt as though ever since she left Kansas with Gil, she had lost her concept of time. Seconds were undistinguishable from hours. Minutes could have been years, and she would not have known. And thus, the drive to Tetuan was virtually impossible to give a time for.

When they finally arrived in the town, Gil went into the barbers for his haircut. After, they bought a few items. Then, Gil and Marta drove happily down a windy lane to a rickety looking old pawnshop. The store had the words “Tetuan Headquarters” written on it.



Sitting outside, on a broken little chair was a pretty woman. Her age was indistinguishable, but she had a matured face. Her short blonde hair flipped out from under a sun bonnet. She was wearing a blue velour dress, and was patting a stray puppy kindly on the head.

As Marta and Gil got out of the car, the lovely woman gave a big smile.

“Oh Gil! I’m so glad you are coming! This must be Marta! I‘ve waited so long to finally meet you again. I haven‘t seen you since you were a baby!” said Tucker.

Chapter 4: In which a very vital message is delivered

Santiago, Floaty, Marta, Eufemia, and Gilbert all huddled into the house. Inside it had the distinct aroma of Cajun cooking. With the spicy air curling about her nostrils, Marta felt a wave of exhaustion. She, along with everyone else, found a mat to curl up on and fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.

Halfway through Marta’s dream about swimming in a boiling pot of shrimp gumbo, the company was awakened by a rhythmic rapping on the door. A short knock, long, short, short, long, long, long, short, long, short, and it ended in a frenzy of very quick knocks. Santiago was of course the first to awake.

He said, “That’s the code 7 alert knock! Somebody’s found confidential news on the Evils! Quick get the door before someone sees the messenger outside!”

Floaty dashed to the door, repeated the same knock back, waited for the messenger to do the confirmation knock, and then flung the door open. The rising sun flooded golden light into the dwelling, and a burly figure stood in the door way.

He would be the second real sloth that Marta would see. He had a handsome face, a debonair mustache, and a robust disposition.

“Hello Floaty! I have urgent news! It’s here in this scroll.” said the new sloth.

“What does it say Juan??” asked Eufemia.



Juan scratched his head. He said he had no idea what the scroll contained. He handed the parchment to Floaty.

“Thank you friend. Do you need to stay to deliver our response back to Headquarters?” asked Santiago.

“No, no, there is no question about it! It is a mandatory mission. It will require three of you, three of you who are willing to risk your very lives! I have no time to spare, so I must be on my way. Good bye, and good luck!” responded Juan.

And with that, he bowed deeply, closed the door, and scampered off into the sunrise.

“Open it up Floaty!” requested Gilbert.

Floaty unrolled the scroll and laid in on the table. Here is what it said:

Dear Good friends:

The most intriguing news has reached us here in the Mexico City Headquarters! The ancient lost city known as Genesis, has been found! The island city was renowned in its time as the capital of Good Slothdom. However, as you probably know, it was attacked by the Evils and was mysteriously lost. It was believed that it sunk into the sea. But, recently, off the coast of Mexico, a message in a bottle was found.
The message is supposedly from the island of Genesis! Apparently it is not lost and the inhabitants are being kept there as the Evils’ slaves! It is up to you to travel to Tetuan, Mexico. There you will meet up with Tucker, a shipmaster. She will take you to the coordinates found on the message in the bottle. It will be your job to spy on the Evils, and report back to headquarters via carrier pigeons. After we are able to devise an attack plan, we will send in reinforcements. Unfortunately, the ship you will be using can only carry four. So, only three of you can go. In fact, you must go! This is not an option!

The fate of Genesis rests in your hands!
Sir Benedicto, President of Mexico City Headquarters

An excited air stirred the room. Each read the message quickly again and some of them exchanged knowing looks at this news. Following a short discussion on the symbolic name of the city, the price of travel supplies, ammunition, shoulder holsters and where Mr. Gilbert could find a cheap haircut, it was decided that Mr. Gilbert go, with Marta and Floaty at his side. Eufemia would stay in the Cuidad Juarez and Santiago would stay in hiding with her which the goal of keeping watch and making dill pickle jelly.

Marta was so excited, she could barely comprehend it. She was only on the second day of her new life and already she had a life changing mission! She, as the letter said, held the lives of the Genesians in her hands.



{This is a photograph of Marta and Floaty, which was taken after the two friends recieved the news of their mission}

Chapter 3: In which the gang encounters a hidden onlooker...

As the three humans and the loveable sloth picnicked in the Mexican brush, something else was watching them from behind a barrel of toxic waste hidden in the flora around them. It watched with small round eyes protruding from a long lanky body, with matted fur, and with a face full of razor sharp teeth. The mind of the onlooker was that of unorthodox intelligence with an uncanny ability to uncover the most covert operations.

Minute after minute passed as the creature watched the Good company eat their Greek salad lunch. With every passing moment, the creature had to use more and more self restraint to keep from jumping out to them. Ha! It thought…if only they could see me! Come on Floaty you giant bag of kitty litter! I’m right here!

Of course, as a cunning Floaty had mastered the use of telepathy. It was of course the way he communicated with his human allies. Consequently, the beckoning from the bush breached into his mind, and he was sure that the individual that had just insulted him was close by.

Floaty knew instantly who the raspy voice belonged to. He was a fierce warrior, known for his harsh militaristic ways. Floaty, without disturbing the others, slipped into the bush and began to slink around. With every step he took, he could sense the intruder’s presence more and more.

As the intruder watched Floaty, he laughed to himself. He had broken the mind barrier, and now Floaty was on his trail. There was nothing the hidden onlooker loved more than a game of hide-and-seek! His mind trailed to the days of his adolescence when he would romp and play with his mates. Back then, the game had only been a game. Now, it was his life. He was always on the run. He was one of the most wanted “criminals” on the continent, according to his know-nothing adversaries.

As the outlaw became entranced with his own personal reveries, Floaty began to close in on his opponent. He too laughed to himself. It was all so simple yet so difficult. Then again, he knew the creature he hunted always had the need to intrigue his seekers, and could usually temp them enough to get riled up but not catch him. The creature’s method of escaping the hands of the law was a risky one; but risky was what he was all about.

As the creature was bent low in the grass, he began to grow restless. Floaty should have found him by now! So, as his impatience mounted, he decided to shift his position, and make a little noise. This would at least give Floaty a hint.

However, Floaty also decided to turn around at the same moment.

And at the exact same moment, the two spun around and found each other face to face!



“Haha! Santiago! You sneaky ferret! I haven’t seen you in ages! You certainly haven’t lost your hiding skills old boy!” exclaimed Floaty as he embraced one of his oldest friends.

“Floaty! It took you long enough to find me! I have been watching your for at least 27 minutes! I was so glad I found you, but I know you like the hunt as much as I, so I decided to hide instead of walk in on you. As I watched, I was glad to find that you all remembered to keep your voices down, you never know who may be listening!” said Santiago, the most feared Good patriot.

“Words of wisdom indeed! You did see that Gilbert has arrived with a delightful new recruit, did you not?” asked Floaty.

“I did, and I’m so exited to see old Gil! It’s been years! And his new helper, what’s her name?” asked Santiago.

“She is Marta Agnetha Sveinnssen, a true Good protector. She was Gil’s neighbor in the States, and moved there from Scandinavia.” explained Floaty.

“Oh! I have cousins there, Birgit and Bjornn! They would be thrilled to hear of another Scandinavian doing Good work.” said Santiago.

The two old companions then scurried over to the picnic scene, where Eufemia, Marta, and Mr. Gilbert were discussing the possibilities of an underwater sloth colony still existing, which was thought to have been destroyed hundreds of years ago. As Floaty and Santiago approached the three, Gil jumped from his seat to greet his friend Santiago. In fact, Gil owed his very life to this cunning ferret. Eufemia also leapt up with joy to greet him. After Marta and Santiago were acquainted, the five traveled back to the decrepit house and began to settle in for the night.

Chapter 2: Marta meets a sloth for the first time and also meets Eufemia, an interesting character...

As the two pulled into the border town, Marta was filled with adrenalin. She could feel an excitement of sorts in the air. All around her, Mexican villagers were brewing about, getting on with their daily business. Peddlers were shouting out the day’s sales, and abuelitas were hobbling around the unpaved roads, watching over their friends and family.

Everywhere a spicy scent filled the air and Marta felt quite at home. They drove down a winding road and then down a smaller windier one. Gilbert explained that the town was called Ciudad Juárez, and it was a great place to have a fun time. Apparently, Gilbert had spent a lot of time there in his younger days. After reminiscing a while about his past adventures in the town, he explained why exactly they were there. Besides meeting up with Floaty, they were also going to meet up with Eufemia, Gil’s niece. He could speak of nothing but her infinite beauty, goodness, and intelligence. Apparently, she was a beauty queen in the old days and every young man for miles would come to swoon her. She was quite a bit younger than him, but they had gotten along fantastically. Unfortunately, her family had been killed in an Evil rampage of their village. Gil had raised Eufemia as her closest living relative. She too was a Good sloth aficionado. She had traveled the world with him and was now stationed in Mexico.



{A picture of the younger Eufemia}

After they were about 20 minutes outside the city limits, Gil veered off road, and began to drive into the brush. They continued to drive until they came to an old abandoned looking hut.

“Okey-dokey then Marta! We’ve arrived at the Ciudad Juárez headquarters!” proclaimed Gil.
“I’m so exited!” cried Marta, and the two got out of the car and walked promptly to the old house.

As they approached the house, they could hear rummaging from inside. Hesitantly, Gil knocked on the door.

After only a few brief seconds, the wooden door sprang open. Marta looked around, but could not see a soul. It was only after she peered down towards the ground did she see a spectacular sight!

“You must be Silent Spring!” cheered Marta.
“You got me! But call me Floaty, it’s less of a mouthful,” said Floaty.

As Marta quickly learned, Floaty was a brilliant sloth. He had mastered English many years ago and was also quite skilled at communicating with humans. He ushered Gil and Marta inside.

“Well, things have been going really well here friends. Eufemia and I have been anticipating your arrival for days! We were so pleased to get your letter, Gil, saying that you’ve recruited two more humans, and that you were coming down to Mexico! What a treat! I’ll secure you with a bicycle, and we can all ride down into the brush to find Eufemia,” said Floaty.

Floaty swiftly walked over to the corner where a few bikes were propped up against the wall. He wheeled a bike to Marta and then one to Gil. Afterwards, he pulled on a pair of riding pants, and hopped on one himself.




The three walked their bikes back out into the sunshine, mounted them, and took off, with Floaty in the lead. After no time at all, Marta spotted a lady from behind. She figured this must be the beautiful Eufemia. After Eufemia heard the bikes roll up behind her, she turned around

Marta uncontrollably swallowed a gasp. She had never seen a face so disturbing. One eye was noticeably larger than the other, and much lower. There was a large scar encircling the big eye. The other eye looked a little lazy. The lady’s teeth stuck out at odd angles, but were fairly white. Hair grew on only one side of her scalp and an ear was missing. A black top hat was perched on her head.



Eufemia held Floaty in his riding jeans close


Gilbert was speechless and Marta was deeply confused.


“Oh Uncle Gilbert! I’m so exited to see you! It’s me, Eufemia!” said Eufemia, a little shyly.

“Oh my dear Eufemia…how….what…I mean…er….how have things been going for you lately?” stuttered Gil.

“I forgot! You haven’t seen me since the accident…. It was dreadful! I was on a mission with Floaty, down in the jungle, when out of no where, a horde of Evil sloths came rampaging out of the jungle debris! We were defenseless! Luckily, Floaty and I were able to fight them off, but I paid a terrible price. My face was left scared and mutilated. They must have used their Evil magic to jinx my face. No matter how much Good magic Floaty and the other sloths used to try and fix my face, it wouldn’t budge. It’s only been recently that I’ve regained my speech abilities actually. So, other than my mutilated face, I am unharmed,” recounted Eufemia.

Au contraire! thought Marta. Eufemia’s ability to wear fashionable clothes, brush her hair, bathe, and brush her teeth had been impaired. She smelled like Melty’s soiled panties he left under the deck in the hot sun that one time. Marta thought maybe it was because Eufemia was so busy fighting Evil, she had no time for trivial things like hygiene.

“My dear Eufemia! This is most tragic! But at least we know you are ok!” sympathized Gil. “This is the young Marta I wrote you about! She is exceptionally brilliant and Good. You two will make great friends!”

“I’m sure we will! It’s good to meet you Eufemia!” And smell you… thought Marta.
After they were all thoroughly acquainted, they sat down for a picnic in the bushes.

Chapter 1: It was only the beginning...

From this point forward, I shall cease to write in the 1st person, and write as though I were observing the story instead of experiencing it. I feel that would be appropriate because it happened so long ago, and I am hardly the same person I was in the beginning of this epic tale.

As Mr. Gilbert and Marta climbed into the cramped automobile, Marta couldn’t help but feeling some amount of fear. She had packed up and left everything behind before and knew it was a difficult process. Despite her longings to be with her friend Melty, she proceeded to get in the car and travel to far off places to fight the Evil.

“Are you excited to go Marta? I hope you don’t mind us leaving so soon!” Mr. Gilbert said.
“No, no, I’m ready, I wish I could just see Melty one last time…” sighed Marta.

At that moment, a happy faced Melty appeared in the dust and came running to the car.

“Good bye Marta! don’t for get to write to me, I amn’t happy you’re goin’, but Mr. Gil said I’m a bona fide sloth spy now! I get to stay here and take care ah the jack rabbits and such. It’s real important!” explained Melty.
“Well, as long as you’re happy then Melty! Gil says you can meet up with us at any time, so don’t forget to write!” said Marta.



At this point, Mr. Gilbert honked his horn and began to roll out on to the road.

“Good bye Melty! The security of the jack rabbits rests in your hands! You have no idea how important you are to the welfare of the entire world!” yelled Mr. Gilbert, as he sped off into the dusty horizon.

After a mile or two, Marta and Gilbert had settled into their seats and were quite comfortable. All the fear and trepidation that had once crept into Marta were gone. She now felt nothing but excitement and pride. Gil explained that they were going to Mexico, to pick up his friend and accomplice, Silent Spring, otherwise known as Floaty. Floaty was a glorious three-toed sloth. He had remained faithful to the ancient ways and was currently fighting Evil in the jungles of Central America.

Their itinerary went as follows: They were to travel Southwesterly to Mexico, cross the border, and drive to the border town of Ciudad Juárez.

Marta looked in the back of the car to see what her mentor had packed. She had no idea what they could possibly need for their journeys. She craned her neck around and found the following items: Pantyhose, peanut butter, a hi-tech camera {which Gil would use to document every step of their adventures}, a Theremin, an ace bandage, a thermometer, a slingshot, a knapsack full of rat poison, a rabbit foot keychain, a crystal wine glass, an angel for a Christmas tree, a tape recorder, a peach scented candle, a girdle, a sitar, a leather belt, salt and pepper shakers, a lone sock, a tomato plant, a phonograph, a telescope, nail clippers, a suede jacket, a rocking horse, a corn stalk, a Puritan style shoe, a monkey mask, a wooden mallet, and a red yo-yo. Confused by the motley collection, Marta settled with picking up the yo-yo and decided against asking why Mr. Gil had packed such useless items.

Along the way, Gil talked on and on about and assortment of things. After hours of him talking, Marta asked him a question that she had always wondered.

“Where did you come from Gil, I mean, what country. You talk funny!” asked Marta.
“Well, I’m actually from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, which is a small town in Wales. The name means ‘St. Mary's Church in the hollow of white hazel near a rapid whirlpool and the Church of St. Tysilio near the red cave’ in Welsh. I think it’s the longest town name ever recorded besides one in Thailand! I’m quite proud of it actually. Like you I was an only child. I came to the United States to go to college, and found it a practical place to live. It is a big country, easy to travel through, and close enough to South and Central America to stay involved in the wars,” stated Mr. Gilbert very matter-of-factly.

Marta just sat and tried to comprehend the words he had spoken.
“Well, remind me again of how you got involved with The Great Sloth Wars,” said Marta.

“It was back when I was a child…in the village. I had the most peculiar experience! I was sitting in my garden, and sloth came out of nowhere! He sat down next to me, and he used his skills to put his thoughts into my head. It is a most peculiar sensation.

{Gil's first sloth encounter}

He told me he had come from Costa Rica, and that he needed my help. He had been spying on me for a long time. He found I had the special qualities he was looking for. He hung around with me a lot, and played with my friends and I.


{Sloth teaching Gil's friends how to use a Sloth Snatcher}

He appointed me as an official sloth spy, and I’ve been in The Wars, ever since. We communicated often, and his son is Floaty, the very sloth we are going to pick up. Anyways, the sloth that found me was named Tarter, and he’s since died. He was killed in action actually. He was very brave,” rambled Gil.

“Wow, that’s quite a story Gil! That’s really neat,” said Marta.

They continued on their way, discussing agriculture, sloth claws, hair ribbons, croutons, polyester, and the forces of Good and Evil. After hours of driving, they arrived at Ciudad Juárez.